Saturday, April 22, 2017

Trump Supports Earth Day and Pocahontas was America's first Progressive Satire

TRUMP SUPPORTS EARTH DAY
Saturday we will celebrate the 47 annual Earth Day.  Over the years the sponsors have initiated numerous projects to return Mother Earth to her pristine state.  This year, however the organizers have outdone themselves.  They have determined the only way to stop the pollution of the planet is one person at a time.  Therefore they have asked all true believers to make the ultimate sacrifice and KILL THEMSELVES in order to reduce the amount of CO2 gases emitted into the atmosphere.  Accordingly the Board of Directors for Earth Day are installing a massive slab of Brazilian Granite on the grounds of the United Nations in NYC.  A slab on which the names of all, who put Mother Earth above Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness will be inscribed.  However, it should be noted that those over the age of 65 will not qualify for this honor, as their emissions of bodily gases is limited due to their advancing years.  But should anyone over the maximum age choose to take that final leap of faith, their names will be recorded in a large book to be donated to the Library of Congress in Washington.  At this time, I would be remiss if I failed to mention that the younger those participating in this grand project are---the higher their names will appear on granite marker.  The Board of Directors in hoping that many millennial's with take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer.
President Trump has just announced that in order to get the ball rolling he is pledging a $1,000 donation for each of the first 10,000 millennial's that take that final plunge.  That would come to some $10 million dollars.  Making him the biggest contributor to date for the Earth Day Foundation.    

POCAHONTAS FIRST U.S. LIBERAL    

Pocahontas, daughter of the great chief Powhatan of the mighty Tsenacommacah nation pleas with her father to spare the life of Captain John Smith and allow him and the other migrants to remain in the land.  The Chief respects his daughter's wishes, believing she must be right.  After all Pocahontas, is a recent graduate  of Know-it-all University in his nation's capital at Werowocomoco.  Thus began the assimilation of the white man into the American Indian Nation.  Or to put it another way, the Native American's first step toward the reservation.

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